[This post is part of a series called Rooted. Find the other posts here]
Delinquent Donkeys
Maybe someone left the gate unlatched. Or maybe one of the animals leaned hard against the wooden rails of the coral. Regardless, the herd of donkeys escaped their quarters and wandered off to who knows where. When the loss was discovered, Kish longed to get his valuable pack animals back. In the 10th century B.C economy, donkeys were the fuel efficient cargo trucks of the day. So Kish recruited his handsome son Saul and a trusted servant and sent them on a search. They looked far and wide. No donkeys. Finally the servant said, “There is a man of God in the next village. Let’s ask him.” So their loss, longing, and search led them, as a last resort, to seek God for help.
But what they found was not what they expected. Their seemingly haphazard search for delinquent donkeys led them into the middle of an epic search conducted by none other that Yahweh himself. The Lord was looking for a man with a heart for God who would serve his people with him. He is still looking.
Loss and Longing
In my work with InterVarsity staff, I am struck by how often individuals talk about the themes of loss and longing. Some dear friends have lost their health and struggle with debilitating pain for years on end. Others long to be married or to start a family. A few long to have a job that will employ their gifts in a meaningful way. Some long for space to rest in the midst of demanding assignments that overwhelm them. And their longing leads them to search and eventually to seek God for help.
Loss disrupts the normal routines that create for us a sense of peace and security. It often leaves us feeling sad, helpless, and vulnerable. In the early stages of grief, it is appropriate for us to mourn and feel the pain of our loss. But eventually the sense of loss may lead us to longing which will give us energy to search. In the cycle of loss-longing-search-find, it is important that we pay attention to our longings because they fuel the cycle. Had Saul become impatient, distracted, or mitigated the loss of the donkeys, his story might never have been told. So when I meet with individuals to help them explore their inner worlds, we always have our ears attuned to the themes of loss and longing and try to name them.
Searching
In searching for lost car keys the other day, I found loose change under the sofa cushions, a book I thought I had given away, and a colony of dust bunnies breeding under the bed. The search made me more attentive and led me to explore places where I don’t normally look. It called out of me an openness to my environment. Attentiveness, exploration, and openness are all heart qualities for not only being a disciple of Jesus; they are essential traits of Apostles, Prophets, and Evangelists. Many of my APE friends possess an inherent extroverted restlessness. It is the quality that makes them effective change agents. There can be a dark side of the trait that can express itself in power grabbing discontent, but the bright side of the trait leads them to becoming humble learners and eager explorers. What helps them to stay on the bright side in their search process is having a companion like the one Saul had who points them towards God.
The Objects of God’s Search
As significant as our search efforts are, they pale in comparison to God’s search for us. His unfathomable love for us propels Him to continuously seek us at all costs. And He invites us into a continuous search process for Him. It is naïve for us to think that in the short span of 70-80 years of our lives on earth, we would be able to do much more that scratch the surface of knowing God and His vast, unmeasured boundless, love for us. It will take 10,000 years of eternity to get to first base of knowing Him.
But many of us get stuck looking for lost donkeys and miss God looking for us. We get preoccupied with our personal loss and longing for that which is temporal, be it our health, a mate, or approval of our friends. By focusing on our own loss, we can become angry, bitter and self absorbed. The prophet Samuel says to Saul, “Don’t worry, the donkeys have been found. Now come to the banquet prepared for you.” That is God’s word to us as well. We can entrust our losses to Jesus. He knows all about them. He is watching over us and will give us what we need (thought maybe not what we think we need). In the mean time, let’s join him at a banquet that will change us and our lives with Him forever.
Questions:
What do you long for? What increases the intensity of your longing? What decreases It?
What are signs that God is looking for you?
[This post is part of a series called Rooted. Find the other posts here]
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Steve, I always find your posts insightful and powerful — and timely. Your writing is a gift to many of us who are find ourselves on the activist side of the contemplative / activist scale.