By Beau Crosetto
Staring new things for God is such a roller coaster of emotion!
I really hate it some days and love it others. But if we are going to be effective at starting new things for God then we have to be faithful people. We cannot let emotions dictate how we will act. We cannot let how we feel determine if we will go forward and stick it out.
There will be high highs, and low lows in planting.
There will be days you feel super lame, get stood up, and wonder why you are even doing this. There will be days when you have the best conversations and witness the most life-changing encounter and wonder how you could ever do anything else.
But the key in it all is being faithful and showing up no matter what.
The 2-9 Café
me waiting alone feeling lame
Today we were having an interest meeting at USC for Greek ministry. We wanted to gather those that are interested in helping us launch in the fall and share some vision with them. Two days last week four of us guys did outreach and talked to Greeks passing by about our meeting. We got some sign ups but I wasn’t so certain if people would show up tonight. To top it off I found out that all my partners wouldn’t be able to come so I was going to be alone at the meeting.
I didn’t want to do this meeting alone.
I am new to the school, I am not Greek, and for what ever reason I was feeling a little intimidated about the gathering. I have done 100 of these things but the enemy was getting under my skin. I didn’t want to go and I hated being there at the restaurant waiting by myself. It was supposed to start at 8pm.
8:05…no one
8:10…no one
8:15…no one…I text my wife
“Sitting here all alone in the restaurant waiting. Feel so dumb”
Every time I have started something new for God I have that moment I feel so dumb, awkward and like I want to crawl under a log and not be seen. I hated tonight sitting in that restaurant watching tables full of Greeks talking and drinking away as I am sitting their alone with my lemonade.
I have other options here in life than to be sitting at a table alone at 8pm away from my family. This is stupid and I feel stupid.
But God asked me to be faithful and I knew that. But it still sucked. Plus I was embarrassed for one person to show up because then it would look lame. Me and them when they were expecting a crowd. What if one person showed up!?
I texted my wife again…”What if one person shows up…I am going to look lame”
She texts back, “Don’t –Be confident”
The One Guy
Then one guy showed up.
I looked confident and gave him a hard handshake.
He was an atheist fraternity guy that was gripped by our flyer. He said, the question, “would Jesus go Greek?” really grabbed him and he wanted to talk this out. He had never really thought or talked about God before in an in depth way since his whole family was atheist. He was ready now to open his mind.
He was excited and thankful to be there.
He and I talked for 2 hours and had a fantastic conversation. Amongst other things we talked about these three minor questions
- How do you know what is the right religion?
- What do you think about gay people?
- What do you think about sin? How do you get rid of it?
This fraternity guy was so jazzed about our conversation that he wants to meet every week and wondered if he could bring a couple friends who have the same questions.
Is he trying to form a Greek core group or something?
Of course I told him yes and he even texted me a thank you by the time I got home. It was a great night helping a guy find his way to God.
It was another night to remember I have a great calling…one that requires faithfulness to show up and look and feel dumb sometimes. Another night to remember it is totally worth it for conversations like that.
Planting is a roller coaster and we have to ride it. Period. We have to be faithful and we cannot let our emotions steer us off the course.
I wanted to quit today and I am sure some days you do too.
As my wife would say, “DON’T –Be confident”
When you feel lame in ministry what helps you stay the course?
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Thanks for posting this Beau. This is the “not so sexy” part of planting. At the front end, there are many days like this. At least, I resonate with those days of no shows. An apostolically-gifted mentor once told me that the witness who shows up in a place where there is no witness is doing some radical work in the spiritual/unseen world. I remember feeling discouraged in one of those seasons, and this mentor told me that to make it a point to get on campus every day even if no one shows up because my presence in itself is a prophetic witness.
Anyway, it dawns on me that what you write is the ‘sweat and blood’ of apostolic witness. It’s choosing to not lose hope even if we feel dumb. It’s hard to inspire people to choose into mission with this kind of post, but this is the truth. I guess Jesus knew what he was talking about when he talked about losing life or that a grain of wheat must die to bear fruit.
I like that mentality and remembering the reality that our presence is changing the spiritual realm itself. Good Word. Thanks!
Bizarrely, things that we normally think of as bad character traits can stand us in good stead in situations like this.
What keeps me going and helps me stay the course?
Well, sometimes just plain stubbornness will do it! OK, call it persistence if you like, but it’s just a kind of stubbornness – right? Or stupidity, that’s a good one. I carry on sometimes because I go on expecting what I have no evidence for. OK, call it faith if you like, but it’s really a kind of foolishness. Paul wrote that the foolishness of the Most High is wiser than the wisdom of men. He was right!
I wonder how many other ‘negatives’ can actually turn out to be positives, sometimes? Can you add some more?
Chris sounds like a good post idea! I would say one other one off the top of my head is “die to self”. That’s pretty negative 🙂
Thanks for sharing and adding further to the conversation.
Great story Beau. I can remember more than one occasion when I doubted and felt dumb (and I am sure it will happen again). Yet God showed up with something totally unexpected.